I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
