Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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