Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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