Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
