i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
