3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
