My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Two words: blizzard sex
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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