you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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