I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just had sex bonerless
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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