well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
