the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
