Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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