Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
