Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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