I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
