dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
BRING THE BAGELS
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
