He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
