shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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