My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
