Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
