Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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