She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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