She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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