Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have aggressive nipples.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
