i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
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