lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
