OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
