Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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