You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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