Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
