He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
