awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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