So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
