I skipped work to stalk him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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