I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
