Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
