He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
