I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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