i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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