She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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