check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Swine flu is the new snow day.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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