i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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