He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
