He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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