Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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