ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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