Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
