Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
