I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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