You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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