I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize