She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
