just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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