the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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