yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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