butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize