I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
