Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
