Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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